Don't Be An Idiom: The Soundtrack, Volume 2

by Don't Be An Idiom

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1.	My Crocktry Tis of Thee 03:22	lyrics	buy track
I am the crocodile I am the mayor of Crocodopolis I mean, the king, I’m the king of that That place Long ago, someone lied and then we cried And now it’s like...nothing matters So we cry and eat and eat and cry And I feel the pain, yes I cry and I eat Ask not what your croc can do for you But what you can do for your croctry We will put a croc-man on the croc-moon For my name isn’t John F. Crocerdy And I will weep with happiness When I see those spry, young croc-men Or women! Or croc-women bounce around On the croc-moon, too soon, not soon enough Good night and party on Marily Croc-roe standing on a grate It’ll be great, it’ll be great, wouldn’t it be great It’ll be great, wouldn’t it be great Country croc, out in the farm Tilling the soil of the crocs Maybe we’ll all grow some crocodedrons Or a croc-nado or a croc-melon Or some corn on the croc Maybe we’ll go down and play the tub bass Washtub bass, the croc We’ll wear crocorals and it’ll be hot Hot croc soup for dinner tonight Hot croc soup for dinner tomorrow night Hot croc soup for breakfast the day after I must go now for I need to weep a thousand tears For a thousand years where we’ve been called liars But they started the fires
2.	You're A Woman, I'm A Horse 03:06	lyrics	buy track
You’re a woman, I’m a horse And I love you, yes, of course You’re a woman, I’m a horse So let’s burn down the dance floor
3.	Everybody Chicken 01:45	info	buy track
4.	Achoo! Been Thinkin' 'Bout You 01:34	lyrics	buy track
Achoo! Been thinkin’ ‘bout you I’m walkin’ through the city And I’m lookin’ mighty pretty Achoo! Been thinkin’ ‘bout you I don’t wanna be a dingbat I thought I’d buy a new hat Achoo! Been thinkin’ ‘bout you When it’s on the street I buy cold meat Achoo! Been thinkin’ ‘bout you Can’t stop buying stuff Gotta get some new snuff! Gotta shop Can’t stop Gotta shop Can’t stop
5.	A Sack of Wooden Nickels 01:09	lyrics	buy track
I got a sack of wooden nickels Yakkity yak, yakkity yak But they ain’t worth a dime Ain’t worth jack, ain’t worth jack I think I’d rather have a pickle Snackity snack, snackity snack I say it all the time Tickity tack, tickity tack I got a sack of wooden nickels Hey, have you seen my wife? Goddam this sack of wooden nickels Hey, have you seen my wife?
6.	A Roman Holiday: The Musical 02:14	lyrics	buy track
“Friends, Romans, countrymen, Lend me your ears. These two men have offended the Republic With their questionable research and their One star review on iTunes. The punishment: death by mortal combat. Fight!” It was a heck of a show A hell of a fight But who’s the guy that stuffed you full of bread tonight? Caesar, Caesar So generous, he’s hard to miss, Caesar! You can be a working jerk on any other day Lucky you your ruler loves a Roman holiday Caesar, Caesar Hey that’s me! Caesar, Caesar Do go on! He’s ten feet tall, he rules ‘em all Caesar! Hey, did you see that tiger? This show keeps getting hotter Like a great big ball of fire People I ain’t asking for much Just don’t rise up and kill all of us Especially me!
7.	Annoying Monster Dinner Party 02:10	lyrics	buy track
Welcome ghouls, I’m Vlad you made it The zombies are here, they’re annoying as shit Frankenstein is sitting on my wife Jack the Ripper is bitching ‘cause he lost his knife Annoying Monster Dinner Party! Annoying Monster Dinner Party! Annoying Monster Dinner Party! Annoying Monster Dinner Party! Dracula showed up late again The Wolfman’s howling that he’s got no friends I told the Creature from the Black Lagoon That he drinks too much at the Swamp Saloon Annoying Monster Dinner Party! Annoying Monster Dinner Party! Annoying Monster Dinner Party! Annoying Monster Dinner Party!
8.	Vinnie Serpente's Shazam Electric Fences 01:41	info	buy track
9.	Rat King King Rat 02:16	lyrics	buy track
I’m down in the dumps ‘Cause I’m tied to these chumps I’m a rat king My girl hit the bricks ‘Cause I made her sick I’m a rat king I know I’ve got the gusto My fate is that I musto be a king rat I close my eyes and see That the throne was meant for me I am King Rat Who do you think you are? You’re a rat king Don’t you forget about us We’re a rat king It’s your turn to scratch the fungus Rat king fungus You don’t have what it takes to be a king rat How about that?
10.	Tell Your Son That FDR Was A Shellback 01:01	lyrics	buy track
Human garbage is not allowed How do you say "head" in French? It's ocean guy business time and I'm stuck... In the Mariana Skunk Trench! Crossing the line Into the edge of light I'm hungry for death, still, Don't wanna get an Irish guy upset Onion medallions and cream I'm the ghost of smells-to-be Onion medallions and cream I'm the ghost of smells-to-be Tell your son that FDR was a shellback! Tell your son that FDR was a shellout—a sell out!
11.	A Three Dog Night Christmas 02:30	lyrics	buy track
On a cold winter’s night When the mill turns out the lights I’ll be there at the bar You know I will be first Because I’ve got the first I’m a dog at the bar I’m here with two friends But we’re looking for some men We’re three dogs at the bar Tonight we’re gonna drown our sorrows The sign says free beer tomorrow So if you think you’re gonna get cold You better do as you’re told Pick up these three dogs from the bar The twist to this song is that we’ve all been dogs all along It’s a world full of dogs
12.	Song Before A Party 01:58	info	buy track
13.	I'm Not Saddam, I'm Ratboy 03:04	lyrics	buy track
When I was a little boy My daddy said you gonna be A big man some day A big boy man man some day But I just got tall, I'm not really a Man at all, I'm just a ratboy down in the hole A ratboy down in the hole You can call me insane Just don't call me Hussein Ratboy is the name Ratboy is the name So hey my brother I know you can't understand me All you hear is squeak squeak squeak All you hear is cheese more cheese cheese please Just look into my eyes You'll see you've got the wrong guy Oh god, I kind of look like him We don't have mirrors in rat-world If you think I'm Saddam Just call up my Mom She'll say you've got it wrong She'll say you've got it wrong
14.	Down In The Goop 01:55	lyrics	buy track
I spent a long day in the military With a bull frog A bull frog baby I'm standing near the kitchen With a sweet tooth Jiggling the doorknob Knocking on the door The chef was out of town So we started chowing down On that ice cream That sweet cream baby Just then I turned around 'Cause I heard that awful sound Of the sergeant stomping on the floor "Well what do we have here A couple of pigs? You can't sit around all day eating clown food! You're going down in the goop For a couple of scoops! Down in the goop, couple of scoops"

about

Don't Be An Idiom: The Soundtrack, Volume 2 gathers together all of the end-of-episode songs and skits written during the second and third season of the podcast Don't Be An Idiom which is available to listen to on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

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released March 12, 2021

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Don't Be An Idiom Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Don't Be An Idiom is a Philadelphia-based podcast that explores the origin stories of common phrases and idioms. At the conclusion of every episode, the boys create a song or skit inspired by the episode. Now, for the first time ever, they are collected here in their entirety. Enjoy and please visit Spotify or Apple Podcasts to check out Don't Be An Idiom! ... more